“Only then can they make their biggest, boldest contribution to their families, communities and the world.”
Thea is a perfectionism expert and coach. She knows what is going on in the minds of perfectionist mothers and how to get them unstuck. She weaves her magic through personal coaching, workshops and as an in-house coach for One of many™ – the fastest growing women’s leadership company in the UK.
Previously working as a business researcher in the City, she is now a writer and speaker, has appeared on Sky TV, and works with companies to create and deliver wellbeing programmes for their staff.
Thea achieved a Diploma in Coaching Practice from Coaching & Mentoring International in 2006, became a One of many™ Certified Women’s Coach in 2017 and a One of many™ Certified Trainer in 2019. She has also completed courses in mindfulness, Acceptance and Commitment Therapy (ACT) and wellness coaching. She is a member of the Association for Coaching.
She loves life. Some highlights include: teaching english in Romania, travelling to 4 continents in one year, rafting down the River Nile and capsizing, working in Australia for a year (where she met her husband), and teaching a member of the Royal Family to slice an avocado.
She lives in Sussex with her husband, Chris, and three feisty children. Sitting in the garden with the early evening sun, great company (or a book), and a G&T in hand is her favourite thing to do.
This is her perfectionism story:
Nine years ago I had an argument with my 8-year-old son. It was a normal family dispute and we were both upset.
But then he shouted at me: ‘Mum – you expect me to be perfect all the time! I can’t be perfect!” In a moment I realised that being a perfectionist was not only hindering my life and happiness, but that – heartbreakingly – it was also damaging my children’s. That day, I vowed to quit my addiction to striving for perfection. Life is messy, we are all beautifully imperfect – so why was I expecting the impossible from myself daily and being my own worst enemy. For the sake of my children’s happiness and future, it was time to change. I got serious about letting go of the need to be perfect.
I’d love to say it’s been easy, but at times it’s been excruciatingly bleak and scary. I went through depression, loneliness and despair as I struggled with ways to overcome the pressure I put on myself, the negative voices in my head and the self-doubt lurking around every corner. But I kept experimenting, learning and practicing and I discovered what did and didn’t work for me.
What I can say now is that the last few years have been the happiest and most fulfilling of my life. I am now living with an inner confidence, calm and happiness that I’ve never experienced before. Its a wonderful place to be. The best thing about the ups and downs that I’ve been through is that now I know all the nitty gritty details of the journey from self-doubt to self-confidence, from depression to happiness. Being able to see the same patterns in my clients and help them let them go is incredibly rewarding for me.
I understand the pain of letting go of engrained beliefs, goals and mindsets that I thought should and would make me happy. I am fully acquainted with the conflicting voices in our minds and the techniques and practices that can quieten down the constant negative chatter. And I’ve experienced the wonder of waking up each day grateful and happy to be who I am with the life I have.
I’m happy to say that my son is now a confident, self-assured, grounded, kind and opinionated 17 year old. I’m sure his strengths and personality were heading that way anyway, but I’m incredibly proud that I’ve managed to step out of his way in the last 9 years to allow him to flourish.
If you know that your self-doubt, negative chatter, or constant striving for perfection is holding you back from creating the life you long for, I can help you retrain your brain to enable calm, confidence and happiness.
“These last 12 weeks were a real eye opener to who I really am and why I do the things I do; the cogs of my being.”
LAURA DWELLY, MOTHER, AUTHOR AND PHOTOGRAPHER
“She’s helping me to see myself with new eyes; thank you Thea.”
EMILY JACOB, COACH & CHANGE MAKER